Yonah Wolf shares his views, insights, concerns and tips about the art of Jewish Parenting, and the difficulties of raising Orthodox Jewish kids in today's world.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Communicating the Old-Fashioned Way - A rant or two
Please turn off your Pager or Cellphone, You're interfering with my 'Communication'.
A cute, but blunt reminder that we are to only be communicating with one entity during davening - G-d in heaven. I've opined in this space time and again about how beautiful it is to have this notion that every individual - even involved in group prayer - is communicating individually and directly with G-d. This is our quiet time with the man upstairs - how dare we talk, or check our incessantly buzzing BlackBerries, etc. I could go on a rant, but in the past few weeks, it dawned on me that I am just as bad as anyone out there. I check my BlackBerry during Chazarat HaShaT"Z and I talk during davening just as much as the next guy. And then I became the Gabbai.
Standing at the Bimah during the Torah reading, one gets a different perspective on how Noisy a shul can get. I also caught myself looking at my BlackBerry during our office Mincha Minyan. I was wondering how to improve my davening, and the answer was plainly obvious - I am going to start with the man in the mirror, and I ask that those of you who read this do the same.
But that's just one rant - the other rant is that improving your davening in the presense of a minyan only works when you show up at the minyan. In our shul this week, it seems that every night we have a hard time getting our 9:15 ma'ariv minyan together. Granted, both of our local Day Schools were off this week (or at least partially) but at the same time, we had to make phone calls every night to get a minyan. I'd like to think that in a community with a 100 families 10 people can show up on most nights for Ma'ariv, but alas that's not the case.
I guess I need to 'Start with me'.
Thanks for listening.
Friday, February 15, 2008
I'll take the Computer over the TV Anytime
For a long time my morning routine had me coming downstairs with my older two boys, and plopping them down in front of the TV every morning while I davened [prayed] (not in front of the TV of course!). Of course, this is both good and bad in many ways and I won't argue its merits or shortcomings here. But what I will say is this - at some point my children discovered the computer and now find it a lot more fun that TV ever was, and as a parent, regardless of what benefits you can tell me that TV has, I think that Computers are way better for kids, and I would gladly swap 2 hours of computer time for every 1 hour they spend watching TV, why? First and foremost, when on the computer, they're Engaged. TV is a passive medium. They sit there spaced-out and watch their show, but they look lethargic and out of it, as if they are in a trance. With the computer, they are moving and active, interacting with the screen. Even the one that doesn't control the mouse is still interacting with the computer by giving his brother advice where to click. Beyond being engaged, they are always learning something. 90% of the web sites they go to are educational, and even the ones that are not, my kids are still practicing using the mouse and keyboard - skills which are vital in this day and age.
Think about how much of a role a computer plays in our daily lives - now quick, when did you get your first computer? When did you first log on to the Internet or get e-mail? How old were you? If you are in your 30's, you probably didn't get a computer until you were in Junior High or High School, and made it to college just in time to discover the Internet. My 4-month old, is already being exposed to the Internet, and my 6 and 4 year olds have been going online for at least a couple of years. I also remember showing my now 9-year-old niece the pbskids.com web site while babysitting her 7 years ago!
Of course then there are the games. My kids don't really have a gaming system (V.Smile from V-Tech and LeapFrog's Leapster notwithstanding). They are not PlayStation addicts or Wii fanatics (although my oldest did play with his Uncle's Wii, and asked if we could get one too), and I know that many parents don't like them and would love to throw them out, but games also help kids, and are better than TV. Yes, keep your teenagers away from GTA and the like, and of course 20-hour marathons and 'LAN Parties' (remember those!, 3-4 of my buddies used to bring their laptops and coax ethernet to have LAN parties in class, but I digress), but a handful of gaming hours a week are beneficial for your kids. They're learning strategy, thinking under pressure, and improving hand-eye coordination. Yes, kids also need to go outside, but if its 30 degrees outside, a Wii Fit or DDR might also prove to be good way to get exercise.
The bottom line, everything is okay in moderation. If you are able to let your kids use computers and gaming systems for a limited time each week, they will definitely benefit - especially if its at the expense of their TV time.
Below is a list of sites that my kids like, and that we like too:
'... healing of the soul and healing of the body...'
Yesterday morning, a friend of mine introduced me to a Rabbi who worked in the area of Grief Counseling. We had a brief discussion about the Mi-Sheberach prayer that is recited to ask for the healing of the sick. He pointed out that our Rabbis, included the phrase '...and may [G-d] send them a complete healing from heaven, a healing of the soul and a healing of the body...' - to indicate that they knew that sickness of the soul and sickness of the body are independent things that have an effect on one another. He also pointed out the vast disproportionate number of Psychologists and Psychiatrists that are Jewish as an indication that this notion of Mental/Spiritual healing is ingrained in the fabric of our culture.
I also recently had the misfortune of making a Shiva visit to a friend. This friend, as well as many others that I have visited during Shiva - indicated that in being a mourner, it was now clear that Shiva was intended for the mourners to have a healing period for their souls. It is a very powerful and helpful thing to be surrounded by loved ones and sharing in their grief. And at the same time, all of us who visit a house of mourning have that concept ingrained in our heads too. We know that our visiting the mourners (just as visiting the sick) gives them the mental wherewithal to go on, to continue to adjust their mind and soul to accepting the new realities of the situation.
The fact that all of this is perpetuated in our religion, the fact that this message and concept, is seemingly universal, even for Jews of various denominational and religious affiliation and observance, goes to show how beautiful our religion really is.
Maybe, on a day when I am cynical about Day School Tuition, Crazy religious practices, or other stupidity being eschewed by the Jewish Establishment, I will come back to this post and understand why I love being Jewish..... because we care.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Fighting Politics with Google Earth
How ridiculous would this sound? Also, are these maps historical, or legally accurate?
It's the same thing with Wikipedia too.